The cost of being online is getting too damn high and I’m tired of pretending it’s possible to fit these tasks into a normal life. That’s why I’d like to share a modest proposal for a new set of holidays to manage our digital lives:

(Ahem.)

• A day to clear out your inboxes
• A day to reset your passwords and delete old accounts
• A day to fix your calendars
• A day to cancel online service subscriptions
• A day to manage the tags on your website
• A day to switch out any critical apps
• A day to backup your computer and phone
• A day to organize your photos
• A day to organize your music collection and playlists
• A day to setup your new phone/computer
• A day to try out a new app or major piece of software for your primary workflow
• A day to delete old text messages

All I’m asking for is 1/30th of a year that we end up cramming into other days. I’m willing to trade some of the B-tier holidays (Easter, Thanksgiving, etc) for this. If you work in the government please call me, it is URGENT.