Every two-to-four years my body chemistry changes and my armpits start to reject my deodorant with an intense itch. All that aluminum has gunked up the works I guess. Usually cycling out deodorants works fine, but this time it didn’t work because my armpits were overpowering all the other deodorants.

I tried a tactical reset and took the “No deodorant challenge”, the legend –which I remember my hippie step-brother Nik telling me about thirty years ago– that if you stop using deodorant for two weeks the oils in your body naturally recalibrate and you stops smelling… but this urban legend very much did not work. I smelled horrible all the time.

I casually mentioned this issue to my dermatologist and he was quick to recommend this homely teal bottle of over-the-counter 1970s logotype, Hibiclens.

I like to think the “hibi” part of Hibiclens stands for “hibiscus” because it’s a pink liquid (or foam) that you apply like soap and rinse off. It’s colored pink because it’s an anti-septic and hospitals like to color their liquids, but the reason it works –as my dermatologist explained– is that bacteria creates the odor in your armpits. That was news to me. My prior understanding was that puberty causes teenagers to grow green stink lines that shoot out from their bodies. Guess the science there has evolved.

I’m happy to report that Hibiclens works wonderfully and I’m pleased with the results. I don’t wear deodorant everyday anymore, my armpits aren’t irritated, and I only need to apply a squeeze of Hibiclens every three days or so (but even that timeline appears to be stretching out). I do sometimes wear deodorant when the stakes are high, but day-to-day working form home is au naturale. There’s a small satisfaction that the answer to my fragile-masculine deodorant FOR MEN problems is a pink liquid in a Tiffany blue teal bottle. Time will tell, however, if it really does solve my problems. I’ll follow up in two-to-four years to see if it still works.