My kids hold beef. And they hold it forever. If one kid in the neighborhood did something they’ll talk about it every other day like it happened yesterday. The friend’s neighbor who is slightly younger but was annoying once? Annoying forever! Even if you’ve played with him since! That new friend who said she saw a dinosaur in her backyard? A liar. Forever.

I don’t get it. I try to counsel them out of their beef. Maybe that girl who saw the dinosaur was just pretending, she has a big imagination (and that’s good!), or maybe someone in a dinosaur suit really ran thru the yard. I have one hundred potential scenariors for why she might have said that. We don’t know. And it doesn’t matter, because first of all, seeing a dinosaur sounds bad ass, so why not say it.

Oh, but they’ll undo my words and Wormtongue each other the next day saying “But remember that time…”

I don’t get it. I don’t see myself as a beef holder. Not forever anyways. My wife isn’t a beef holder either. She’s one of the most pleasant people I know. Who taught these kids to hold beef? From whomst was the beef holding begotten? Why hold beef forever? It goes bad. Let the beef go, kid.